This sign hung in
the kitchen doorway at the cottage. “We're going to be in the next
blog with that as the title, aren't we?!” asked my brothers with a
chuckle during a late night card game. Little did they know how right
they'd be. :)
My parents
celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary this past
spring. And so as a family we rented a cottage on Rice Lake for a
week. One whole week we spent together – all 16 of us.
We laughed together.
We ate and drank together. We cooked and cleaned and played together.
We swam, fished, read stories (to the kids), played baseball, played
endless games of Trouble, made S'mores around the campfire, and
“ooh'd and awed” at the fireworks. I cuddled with my nieces way
too early in the morning, and tried to avoid the restless kicks of a
4yr old throughout the night. For 7 days we tried to forget that the
outside world existed, and just enjoyed each others company in a way
that one-day family dinners – interrupted by rushing to get the
kids home to bed – doesn't allow. We celebrated 40 years; we
celebrated each other; we celebrated the tie that bonds us.
...we're a nice
normal family.
A friend commented,
“40 years, wow. Is it a happy marriage, 40 years later?”
I flashed an
understanding smile at the cynicism behind the question, and
responded: “Yeah. I mean all couples and families have their ups
and downs, but yes. They're happy... inspirational! Something I
likely will never have that long myself...”
My family – we are relatively close. That's how I describe it. We share some
laughs, we share some tears, we keep some secrets. We love each other
quietly yet deeply; and that shines brightest when one or more of us
are openly struggling with something – in “crisis mode” I call
it.
For example, my
parents have welcomed me back to their living space time and time
again over the last 10 years when I had no where else to go; and when
my heart was broken 7 years ago my protective big brothers stepped up
and offered to break some legs. To this day they still get tense and
wary when I refer back to that time, or talk about another who has or
may hurt me.
Truth is, I have
loved watching my relationship with my parents and each of my
brother's change over time – as we have experienced our own life
stages and events; with the introduction of sisters-in-law and
children; amidst travels and moves that have taken us away from
and/or brought us back to each other; through successes, challenges,
and growth. Not always close, not always harmonious, but always
present.
...we're a nice
normal family.
Reading this sign, I
had to ask myself “But what is 'normal' anymore, really?”
Families come in all
shapes, sizes, and colours these days – marriages that last 40+
years, and significant relationships that don't last 40 days.
Siblings who are best friends, and those who never speak. Children
who are born to a family, and those that are adopted in whether
legally for honorarily. So what is it that truly characterizes “a
nice normal family?”
For us – I think
it is an underlying respect, acceptance, and the often unspoken love.
That we can be so different in our growth experiences and who we have
become, yet stay connected and find our way back to each other with
that thread – the tie that bonds us. Our nice normal family!
What is it for you and your's?
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