Building on Grebel's C-Word

*Figured the first day of school was a pretty good day to come back from that summer hiatus of minimal posting... hoping to get back to once a week posts. To everyone who is coming back, or checking this out for the first time: Thanks for reading!!*

“What should young people do with their lives today?

Many things, obviously.

But the most daring thing is to create stable communities

in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured.”

~ Kurt Vonnegut, 1974

Every person is defined by the communities she belongs to and the ones she doesn't belong to.

I am this and this and this, but definitely not that and that and that...

But a person who really believes she doesn't belong to any community at all invariably kills herself, either by killing her body or by giving up her identity and going mad."

~ Orson Scott Card, Speaker for the Dead.

Recently I attended the 50^th Anniversary Reunion for Conrad Grebel University College, the space I called “home” for the first 2 years of my University career. During the celebration service, a recent alumnus reflected on the oft-heard buzz word that invoked cringes and eye-rolls from herself and her peers and I smiled thinking, “so some things never change!”

That buzz word:

  

From the singing-walk to Dairy Queen and square-dance during Frosh Week, to the weekly Community Suppers; the encouraged open door policy, to less formal rituals like “de-traying” at the round tables during meals (in order to fit more people in!): Community was a vital concept of Grebel life. And as I nodded in understanding at stories from earlier alumni representing this buzz word, without actually speaking it, I realized this aspect of Grebel has stood the test of time in connecting individuals from across many different spaces – including generational – with a unique shared experience.

The funny thing about this community experience at Grebel though, as that recent alumnus went on to share, is that you... or rather to speak only for myself, I didn't realize quite how valuable it was until I moved out of it. When someone asked me that weekend, while sharing the stories of where we are now: “Do you have a community that you have connected with up there?” ...that point hit home once again.

I have lost regular touch with most of the people I shared community with at Grebel. But the lingering lesson I hold on to is that community can be built anywhere, with anyone, for any length of time. A shared experience, a common interest, or even just an open heart are all that is needed.

The transient-ness of my life these past many years has resulted in a “community” that is spread out across southern-Ontario; really across the world. There are times when this feels lonely and isolating, needing extra effort to reach out to those I may consider part of my inner community circle. Other times I feel blessed to have been a part of so many varied communities, with lingering connections. But what of a community here, where I am now; where I have chosen to stay for a time?

Starting out in a new city, and moving towards a career that can easily be isolating without intentional professional community building, has made this difficult for sure. Yet I have found a great community with my co-workers at the restaurant. Supportive, fun-loving people. A few closer friends, but many to share the experience and a drink with at our own round tables after work!

Still, reconnecting with a community from my past the other weekend I realized that as much as I value and will continue to connect with my community of co-workers, it is not currently fulfilling an aspect of myself that I wish to be exploring more again: my spirituality. I grew up in Christian church community. Grebel provided a safe space to explore that faith further and deeper; moving towards a spiritual exploration that continued to grow and change in the early years of leaving that space. Though my spiritual journey may look quite different than that of some of my peers from those earlier communities, it is still a journey I wish to develop and connect with. Without the intentional communities of my childhood church and the university residence to provide context, I'm left to find it on my own. In a new city. And feeling less comfortable seeking the connections of a Christian church. This continues to be somewhat difficult.

I am so grateful for the lessons in community building that Grebel provided all those years ago, and for the reminder and re-connection through reunion recently. My hope is that if I open myself up to the possibility of broadening my community here – of incorporating support for spiritual exploration into existing or new communities – that they will develop with a little bit of intention and a little bit of nature taking it's course!