My Best Friend(s) – Part 2

I recently read that geese flying together in their characteristic V-formation can fly 70% farther than if they each flew on their own. 70% - that's hugely significant!

I know a lot of my writings over the past 8-months have been about loneliness, uncertainty, longing for love and confirmation. Perhaps it's because those are the spaces I've been honestly facing periodically throughout this year; and thus finding more inspiration there than in the fun and laughter. Perhaps it's in part because I feel like I've done a lot of work over the years in learning to know and love myself; in searching for and creating my own happiness and meaning; in enjoying time on my own – in learning to be my own best friend, like I wrote about last week – and now want to share that with others. Perhaps it's because there is still more work to be done; because there will always be more work to be done in those spaces and in learning to know and love myself.

But in last week's blog I left out two important lessons that I gained while on the journey to know and love myself. While learning to be my own best friend, I also learned to recognize the value of my relationships. And perhaps more importantly, I learned the need and benefit of allowing others to be my friend; to know and love me.

In that process I suppose it brought me to a place of recognizing that as much as I'm grateful to be my own best friend, I also want love and support in my life from other sources. 

Somewhere along the way I think I learned that it was wrong to go looking for something or someone else to contribute to the love and happiness in my life. So my friendships became short-lived or distant, my jobs and living spaces transient. And while I had a fun, met a lot of wonderful people, and had some pretty amazing experiences... I also continued to sometimes feel somewhat lost and like something was missing.

We are relational beings who typically thrive with close human connection. That will likely mean something different for different people. For me, I want other sources to contribute to the love, confirmation, happiness and sense of meaning in my life. Some I have had all along from my family; some I am building and creating through career aspirations and hobbies; some I am learning to accept through new and old friends; and yes, I even find myself desiring – hoping – for another experience of love in the romantic, intimate sense. I have begun to find and re-discover some of these things. And as a result, among the decreasing moments of loneliness, have had many more moments of laughter, fun, and love (it's finally about those moments)!

I still believe that learning to love yourself and creating your own happiness is important. But I also believe that connecting with others – finding multiple best friends – can be an important contributing factor to that. 
 
 
After all, love comes in all different shapes and sizes. And if together we can go 70% farther, well then I want that 70% more love!