This afternoon I reflected on many of the blogs I've posted in the last few years:
Be Vulnerable... (2013)
Be Breathless... (2014)
Be Passion-filled... (2015)
Maybe it was the nostalgia of a new year; maybe it was the quiet space of having a full day to myself for the first time in months; maybe it was the realization that, with the busy-ness of the holidays coming to an end, the reality of needing a new normal is setting in.
Whatever it was, the desire to reflect back and to put new words on screen spoke up today with this question: What will this year's mantra be?
To be painfully honest, the word that seems stuck in my head is: Grief. Because I know that no matter what life will bring for me this year; no matter what I do or see or learn; no matter the challenges and triumphs, the successes and failures, the highs and lows ~ Grief over the loss of my Mom will be a part of it.
Which could be sad and depressing and bleak.
So I tried to come up with something else. Some other mantra or word that could bring more hope and light to this first post of 2016. Til I decided rather than fight the Grief, I will make it work for me. Because it can also be beautiful. Because where things like Grief reside there is opportunity for Growth. And with Growth there is opportunity to move towards Great things.
BE HAPPY my Dad wrote in his Christmas letter to me. My Dad – in the midst of his own grief, among his words of reflection and encouragement – wrote BE HAPPY. As the tears stream down my face... because even happy is now mixed with Grief.
I do not want to make Be Happy my mantra this year. Though I know in many ways I will be; that in many ways I am – it doesn't quite fit somehow. So I will leave the mantra unfinished, for now at least. Instead the year 2016 will be brought to you by the letter G ~ for Grief, Growth, and Great things.
After all, as Sesame Street puppets taught me many moons ago,
G comes before H anyway.