Time is not measured by the years that you live
But by the deeds that you do and the joy that you give -
And each day as it comes brings a chance to each one
To love to the fullest, leaving nothing undone
That would brighten the life or lighten the load
Of some weary traveler lost on Life's Road -
So what does it matter how long we may live
If as long as we live we unselfishly give.
~ Helen Steiner Rice
I had just gotten off the phone with someone who has offered me space
in their clinic. We were beginning to talk specifics: rent, when I
could start moving in furniture, expected starting date, etc. And he
asked if I saw this as a long-term arrangement. I faltered for a
second, then asked what he considered “long-term”.
“Five years?” he suggested.
As I re-played the conversation in my head, complete with stumbling
over my time-rehearsed and well-used anti-committal excuses, I had to
stop and ask myself, “What am I doing all this for then?”
Seriously, do I really think that I'm putting all this time, energy,
effort and stress into starting a business... for a few months? Are
the actions I'm taking not actually the epitome of committing to a
long-term? Even if I define that as something different than
five years? So why can't I just say it?
With the exception of school and one contract-position, the only
actual time-defined commitments I've made in the past 14 years are
the apartment leases I've signed. And I got out of one of those
earlier than the agreed upon time. Any jobs I've held or
relationships I've been in... just... sort of... lasted. Until they
didn't.
But this. This is different.
First of all, I bought a bed last year. It made my transient life a
little more difficult to move so often. So, as I said in my phone
conversation, I have no plans to go anywhere else anytime soon.
Second, this kind of thing that I'm doing here, it takes time. Time
to become established; time to become known; time to make enough
money to move somewhere else. And even then, a move to a different
city, well it's like starting all over again. How many times do I
really think I plan on doing that?!
I've been working on a business plan. But after that phone
conversation I realized I may need to put more thought into the
time-lines. Maybe I'm not quite ready to say yes to five years.
But that doesn't mean I can't define long-term in my own way.
And it doesn't mean there isn't room for developments along the way
that will affect or change those long-term plans. But I do have to
start somewhere.
And really, when I think about how fast the last year or two... or 14
years of my life have gone; plus my excitement with finally be making
this goal happen... Well, I just might find myself with no plans to
go anywhere else after another year or two or 14 either!
2 comments:
Oh wow. I totally get you. I felt the same until recently and now, at 39, I'm finally realizing that the idea of putting down roots may not be such a bad thing! I started my business 4.5 years ago. I'm not sure if I'd recommend a five year commitment when you're just starting out cause, believe me, you're going to learn a lot in the coming year or three ;) but in terms of life commitments, perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea. And you know, you can always go another way if your original idea doesn't work out. I don't mean to undermine the premise of 'commitment' but I don't think it has to be a cross roads either. Good luck!
Thanks Kim!
I don't think you undermine the premise of commitment at all. Five years sounds like a long time at the beginning when, you're right, there is so much to learn within that first year (or 3!)!
I'm so glad to hear that I'm not alone. And the reassurance that there is always room to go another way is appreciated. Cheers to you - and to my business mirroring the success of yours!
(PS. update on the space - I have since learned that the lease agreement includes a 1-year re-evaluation that allows either party to back out if it's not working. I feel much better contemplating 2-5yrs knowing that I still have an out after 1yr!)
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