But she doesn't look sick....

from Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

~ Judith Viorst

For the past month and half when someone asks how Mom is doing, I am happily able to report that she is doing well! She gained some strength back during the break between treatments; and the side effects from this round and this type of chemo do not seem to be hitting as hard. Makes it easier to keep spirits up and to stay a bit more active. Makes it easier to forget, or down play; especially when living at a distance and not truly seeing or experiencing the day-to-day, moment-to-moment stuff.

That is the tricky thing about cancer though, isn't it. It hides in the deep recesses of one's being, causing harm with little outward evidence at first. Even for those in treatment it is often the side effects of the drugs that cause more pain and discomfort than the cancer cells themselves.

So she doesn't look sick. In fact, when Mom and Dad returned from their summer vacation she looked amazing! How can she be sick?

Living this experience one day at a time, it is easy to forget that so many good days in a row will eventually give way to a not-so-good day. I don't say that to be pessimistic nor to take away from the enjoyment of the good days.

Rather I mention it because when a not-so-good day hits... it is yet another rude reminder... and how prepared you are for that reality will influence how hard you are hit with it.

I was not prepared. Because she didn't look sick.

Though this time I was home and able to lend moral support if not actually getting my hands dirty. This time I was home, which is difficult in a different way then being at a distance. As they say, sometimes watching someone in pain is more difficult then going through it yourself. A sign of deep love when you wish for anything that would allow you to go through it instead of the loved one. Anything that would take away their discomfort.

The wonder of modern medicine and it's ability to ease those not-so-good days is something we should not take lightly. Mom bounced back quickly and kept her appointment for the following morning! A true sign of the strength I have witnessed in her all my life; a sign that the rock she is for our family is still there even in her own time of need.

A sign that the not-so-good day(s) will eventually give way to the good day(s)!

And aren't these lessons we can all take in this life?! That not looking sick is not necessarily a sign of health. And more importantly - to enjoy the good days and persevere in the not-so-good days, because one always gives way to the other eventually!