Encourage

“Instruction does much, but encouragement everything."

~ Johann Wolfgang von Geothe

I gotta be honest, I have felt a little down and discouraged this week... following a pretty great weekend, the comparison only felt more drastic.

Frustrated with particular aspects of my current situation, I reached out to a friend for some words of encouragement. I know she meant well; I know she was trying to be supportive; I know if I go back and read her words again in a day or two I will likely receive them differently. But in that moment... it wasn't really what I was looking for.

Another friend asked me the other day, if I thought people truly want to hear the truth; or if they just want to hear what they want to hear.

He's probably right. In that moment, I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear. And that was this: Keep going! You can do it! I know it's tough, but push through! It will all be worth it someday! This is temporary pain for longer-term gain! I believe in you!

Because even though most of the time I can give myself those messages, sometimes it helps to hear them from someone else.

Sometimes I think we don't hear enough of those messages in our day to day life. Or at least I don't think we hear enough of the true encouragement and affirmations for our strengths and successes (because I would argue it's true that there are people who have received the “you are special” message to an extreme, and as a result perhaps have a slightly distorted view of their own abilities and capabilities...) An instructor for a course I took a year ago called it SAD: Severe Affirmation Deficit (not to be confused with Seasonal Affective Disorder...) He challenged us to find opportunities in our daily lives to offer affirmations to the people we encounter – whether it is a family member at home, a friend at work, the barista who makes your morning coffee, or a stranger walking down the street.

I wondered why it sometimes sounded and felt easier to offer a random affirmation to the barista or stranger then to my own family members and friends...

I have thought about this SAD off and on since that course. I have tried to not only offer encouragement and affirmations, but to create space for people to come up with their own; for themselves. And so in my frustration, disappointment and discouragement yesterday I tried – emphasis on the tried, because I can't say it was completely successful but at least I keep trying – to come up with my own affirmations and encouragement. I asked myself, What went well today? What is better today then yesterday? I figured if I can come up with even just one thing, well... that's better than nothing!

Even though yesterday's frustrations are still present, today is a little better already. Because last night I took some time to cuddle with my cat. Because today I took some time write again. And if one things is better than nothing, well than two is better than one!