The Significance of Chairs

The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. 
The superior teacher demonstrates. 
The great teacher inspires.
~ William Arthur Ward 

 

The fun thing about getting older is finding younger people to mentor

~ Mike May

 

Every once and awhile I like to visit a place or people that were important, meaningful or significant to me at one time in my life. It acts as a reflection of who I used to be, allows me to reconnect with some core part of myself, and reminds me how far I've really come. Last week I had the chance to do that – visiting a space that was formative during my later teenage years.

I was greeted through the door with smiles and hugs, and immediately invited to have a seat for a quick catch-up chat. It felt weirdly familiar to be sitting in that chair again... a chair I remember spending hours in over the span of 3 years. Lamenting, as teenagers do, over the trials and tribulations of life as I knew it. So grateful even then to have the informal listening ears and words of wisdom sitting across the way.

 

One of these mentors commented about how the chair kept re-filling over the 15 years since I regularly warmed the seat. Different people, but the same issues. I am not surprised, rather thrilled to know that I was a part of it in the beginning; and that so many have benefited in similar ways since!

I further reflected how both chairs have revolved in some ways, with new mentors and significant people filling the opposite chair in different spaces and places as I've moved forward. Different people, but perhaps the same offering of help to fulfil a desire for a place to belong. The same issues at their core.

This short visit was refreshing and fulfilling in all the ways I had wanted it to be. But as I am now beginning a career where chairs are an important piece of the decor, it got me thinking about the significance of them. What they represent, who sits in them, and the roles we play depending on which chair we are in. For as much as I have found important mentors to sit across from, I also know I have switched chairs and played the mentor role at times. I know in some ways, I am likely to do so again.

I remember the night I found the chairs that now fill my office – the first real physical manifestation of my practice and thus their first significance. My friend and I each sat in one, laughing as we both commented that they were firm but comfortable; offering support yet enough space to curl up in. The perfect combination for a counselling office! I often wonder who will fill those chairs? Will the root issues be the same through different people? Will my role be the same each time, or will it adapt with the changing faces and stories? Will I feel comfortable and fill the chair sufficiently enough?

I hope I never stop finding chairs to sit in – opposite interesting and meaningful mentors or those in need of one. I hope that, while finding my place in these new chairs, I will remember all the people who have sat across from me in the past. And I hope the wisdom, support and inspiration I have found in and through them will continue to follow me; offering reflections of who I used to be, reconnections with some core part of myself, and reminders of how far I've really come!